my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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