Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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