How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize