if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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