So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
