i was born a porn star she said
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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