Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
