Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
