I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
