If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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