she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
if i died would you start the facebook group?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
