I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dicks are not precious.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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