mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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