what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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