that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
