i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All the doctor said was why
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
