I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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