Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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