I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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