So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
