you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize