No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
