sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
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He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
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I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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