You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i black out too much to be "responsible"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize