The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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