How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
