Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
