What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
