Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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