Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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