Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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