I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
