I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize