nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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