Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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