Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
