Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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