I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize