It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
