She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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