There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
