We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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