I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
