I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
