I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Randomize
