i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
