I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
