Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
