And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
