I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
