Small penises have feelings too.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
