he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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