My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
