He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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