just come out here and I will go home with you...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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