I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
