yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
