he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
