Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
