Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
