id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize