In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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