you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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